Ok, so I know I said today was going to bed a bike ride, but when looking at my schedule I decided the best days for my "off" days are Tuesday and Friday, because that way I am doing my strength training on a day right before an off day,and on Thursday night I have dance aerobics, and since that will mean I have two workouts on Thursdays, Friday will be a much needed off day! And my training packet says its a good idea to take a slow walk sometimes on an off day if it is right after a strength training day to "actively recover". So anyway, I didn't work out today, but I did sit in the hot tub at the gym, which was heavenly and felt great on my sore muscles....that's right, my muscles are sore after one day of a hard workout...don't judge. haha. So here is my list of things I realized today during this triathlon journey...
1) It is hard for me to take a day off and not feel guilty...seeing as yesterday was my first day of the training regimen, I felt like I should be working out today, but the training packet says specifically to stick with the plan exactly for the first two weeks so that you get in the habit of working hard on your "on" days and really enjoying and resting on your "off" days. "Your body will thank you for it" is what it says. I guess we will see!
2) I am trying to focus less on my body image and more on the way I feel. In the past, I was never a girl to completely freak out about her body, I never had those times in high school where I starved myself for a week before homecoming or anything. I have always loved cooking and loved food and appreciated good nutrition. I have my mom and her awesome cooking to thank for this...she always cooked a meal and we were all expected to be at the table to eat it unless we were sick or had another really good excuse. I always loved this as a kid and I am soooo glad this was a rule in my house because it has taught me that a healthy dinner is important and that spending that time with your family is also important. Having said this, in the past few years, I have tried things like weight watchers. It worked great for me the first time, and I tried to go back to it several times and it just never really worked. I'm not sure if this is jsut because I don't have good willpower, and I just can't resist chocolate in large amounts sometimes, or what, but it just didn't work for me for the long term. I haven't given up, I still subscribe to weight watchers online and I enjoy the recipes and sometimes track points. I know this isn't how it is supposed to work, but like I said, it's not quite my thing. So, anyway, after that super long tanget, my point is this, doing a triathlon requires me to eat foods that will power my body through the training. I have been trying (for the whopping 48 hours since I made this decision) to eat foods that will give me strength and fuel. Now, I am not the type of person who can eat stuff like wheatgrass and carrot sticks and be happy...sorry but that's just not me....shove a cupcake in front of my face and I am pretty much powerless to resist. So I am trying to focus on eating a balanced diet of foods that give me energy, and make me feel good. I have been trying to monitor how I feel after each time I eat, and using that to decide whether or not the food was a good choice. It seems to be helping with what I call the "guilt factor"...you know, that feeling you get when you eat a piece of chocolate cake...you know it tasted amazing, but you can almost feel the fat beginning to jiggle on your thighs? For example, today, after I ate my lunch (more about my lunch later...) I was just not feeling satisfied. I felt full, and I certainly would have been fine in 10 minutes if I just went back to work and didn't think about food anymore...but, like I said...powerless to resist! So anyway, I know there is a secret stash of miniature reese pb cups in a freezer at work...so I snuck in after lunch and grabbed 2. I savored and enjoyed them....but they really didn't taste all that great, and afterwards I still didn't feel satisfied and I felt kinda sluggish and overfull. Instead of letting the "guilt factor" sink in, I told myself I was learning a lesson from this. I don't "need" chocolate after lunch like I think I do...in fact, chocolate after lunch makes me feel worse than just drinking some water to wash down my healthy lunch and heading back to work. Does this mean I am never going to eat chocolate or sweets again?? HELL NO! Haha...I love sweets, I am a chocoholic, and I fully intend to eat my fair share, but the lesson I learned is that I can save those treats for times when I really really want them...not for at work when I am rushed and just eating it to try to feel more satisfied.
So those are two things I learned today. Now, back to my lunch. Remember last night when I described my dinner? If you like fish and beans, it probably sounded delish. If you don't, let's pretend you do. I packed up my leftovers in a tupperware with the thought that I would take it for lunch today.I was super excited and I went to bed and woke up this morning, went downstairs to pack my lunch, and saw a tupperware sitting on the counter. My first thought was that one of my roommates had taken something out so they wouldn't forget to take it to work with them...but then I realized it was my tupperware! I had left my fish out all night! I was soo mad! I don't know about you, but fish that has sat on the counter for nearly 12 hours isn't my idea of good eats. I was pissed...so I put aside the tupperware, grabbed a smart ones meal out of the freezer, packed some veggies and went to work. That was not a great start to the day.
So...how am I feeling tonight? tired....sore...and emotionally not great. I am trying to "keep my chin up" but it is hard...whenever I have a free moment I feel sad.
What am I having for dinner? (This is gonna be a super weird meal...just a warning..I kinda went with what I was craving tonight, while still trying to keep a balanced diet as much as possible): egg white scramble with peppers and tomatoes, matzo with whipped peanut butter, applesauce. Like I said, weird...but it is good protein...and whipped pb has much fewer calories than regular pb...and I love applesauce....I'm like an applesauce monster...haha.
Tomorrow....5 mile bike ride (for real this time!) and strength training. And no pb cups after lunch!!
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